Post by shanomacbry on Sept 14, 2009 12:34:16 GMT -5
[Scene: Sleazy-E Motel ... St. Louis , Missouri
Monday, August 23rd, 2009 ... 11:11 pm]
[After being sucked into a realm where fantasy meets reality...]
[After learning of his quest to become the Savior of HCW...]
[After realizing he can't back out, cuz dude, he's trapped in a freakin' e-fed world...]
[THE Mac Bry made his way toward the local "Sleazy-E Motel" on the night of the 22nd...]
[... and then, on the 23rd, he made his HCW "debut"... or rather, began the inVasion.]
[And unbeknownst to the rest of the roster... the non-getting-sucked-into-an-alternate-dimension portion of the roster... Mac Bry knew exactly who his first target would be... the first sacrifice in his mission to bring HCW to the pinnacle of excellence. The man who would have to take one for the team... XAW Hall of Famer and MCW Icon, Vlad... played by Andrew Giovanni in actuality.]
[Mac had always loved to trade roleplays with Andrew back in his XAW days... Mac's character Reeve / raYne became embroiled in an intense rivalry with Andrew's Vlad.]
[But in THIS world... the Dhampir was much more than a fictional personality that told a story... In THIS world? The Dhampir's bites were all too real... and Mac knew he'd have to be aware of this.]
[Still, there's something about the Blood God, that's just the slightest bit... alluring. When taking on a character, Mac Bry would always insert a piece of himself into the formula... but he would always exaggerate his various personal charecteristics. Thusly, his own bi-curiousity is now seemingly peaked even moreso within this realm. As is the time-bomb like anger brought on by his bi-polar affliction... The combination of lust and hate, boiling together, will now provide for an explosive catalyst...]
[The time drew closer and closer to the very first HCW "Chaos Bleeds" main event in history... with the vacant Hardcore title held on the line in a battle royal. With six of seven spots already determined by qualification contests, Vlad met Mathew Johnson in the semi-main event, and came up with a victory... securing a spot alongside Draka, Heather Storm, Scarface, Griffin, Galahad, and Ava.]
[Barely managing to catch a breath following his qualifier, Vlad found himself confronted with six other hungry competitors... all aiming for the Hardcore gold. He shook off the cobwebs, and tried to regain his verticle base... Ava sent him flying into the ropes... and... ]
[Out of absotively, posolutely NOWHERE, THE Mac Bry sprinted toward the ring, pulled down the top rope... and just as soon as he'd won the right to compete in the battle royal, Vlad was sent hurtling out of it.]
[With Vlad unceremoniously ripped from the title match, the Blood God was now MORE than aware that "THE Mac" had arrived... and so was the rest of the HCW lockerroom. Mac looked familiar... he sounded familiar... heck, he even SMELLED familiar... but they just couldn't place him.]
[Well, that is until he got on a bullhorn outside the arena after the show, and while everyone was leaving, he continuouslly shouted "HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE! OH, AND BY THE WAY, I'M MAC BRY! IN THE REAL WORLD, I ROLEPLAY AS THE CHARACTERS STUNG, KRUZIFIX, RAYNE, REEVE GORDON, AND MANY, MANY OTHERS! I'VE PROBABLY BEATEN THE HANDLERS ALL OF YOU SORRY SACKS AH SASSAFRASH AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER! ... YALL SUCK! OH, AND VOTE FOR ME AS CLASS SAVIOR, 2009!!! ... BOOMER SOONER!!!" . Yup... pretty hard to miss that... Especially considering the fact that he repeated it ALL, eleventy hundred and a half times... But I digest.]
[So, having successfully annoyed the piss out of everyone, Mac did all there was left to do.]
[Grab a hooker and head back to the motel.
]
[We find THE Mac, along with a... well, a hooker, heading toward the door of Mac's motel room. At the front of the door, Mac drops the hooker onto the ground.]
MB: Dammit, I had enough ah carrying your stupid ass! It's not like we're getting married or anything, ya ho! We go in here, you jerk me off for about five seconds, I blow my power load, and then I pay you a thousand dollars. You know, the way it SHOULD be!
Krystal Dawn: But Reevie! Don't you remember me?! We were the Power Couple back in XCWA!!!
MB: Diamanta?
Krys: ... No. Dammit, Reevie-kins, it's ME!
MB: The Fat Guy? Big Daddy Drool? Come on, I don't have all night, I'd like to get in there, get to jerkin' it, and get to work on my first LIVE promo! Man... this is sooo TOTALLY going to be awesome cutting an rp with my mouth instead of my fingers!
Krys: Oooo, I remember how good you were with those fingers... teehee.
MB: ... Crystal?
Krys: Nooo, silly! Krystal!
MB: ... Huh?
Krys: Heehee, you're funny! Wanna watch me f*ck a college girl?!
MB: ... Uh...
Krys: I know JUST the college! Their sorority has all the finest beaver!
MB: ...
Krys: What? Their mascot is a beaver! You silly goose.
MB: Marry me.
Krys: Ohhh, we haven't even gone out in three years! We've got to get back in the swing of things. And trust me... I "swing" with the best of them, if you know what I mean. ;D
MB: Hummina, hummina, hummina, WHOO BOY! Get in this motel, Krystal! We've got some... er, "catching up" to do. [looks at the camera] You know, Narrator...
[What's that, Mac?]
MB: The e-fed version of my Crystal... she's just a BIT easier on the eyes than the real deal... But, hey, if it weren't for the real thing, I'd never have the inspiration for this... This... uh... heh...
[The camera slowly pans downward, where we find the back of Krystal's head in front of Mac's lower region... we hear some slurping noises... and good GRAVY, CUT AWAY!!!]
*static*
[Tuesday, August 24th, 2009 ... 09:11 am]
[The camera re-opens... this time, to the morning after.]
[Mac is out cold, snoring next to Krystal Dawn, who is tapping away at a Nerdtindo PMSi. All of the suddenly, Krys' eyes widen, and she begins to shake Mac...]
Krys: REEVE! REEEEEVE!!! ... Oh, wait... what was that name he told me to call him... Black Guy... Shack Fly... er... uhm... oh yeah! MAC BRYYYYYYY!!!
[Mac awakes with a start, and looks over at Krystal with a bewildered expression.]
MB: The HELL is your problem?
Krys: I did it!!!
MB: ... Did WHAT?
Krys: I just finished the first level on "Knitting Mama : Knit One, Pearl Two". I'm telling you, it may have gotten hella boring after a while, but I braved through it, and I WON!
MB: ... The first level.
Krys: Yeah!
MB: Of some crappy KNITTING GAME?!
Krys: Well... for a knitting game, I'd say it's not TOO shabby... but, uh...
MB: Krystal. Please. LET ME GET SOME FRICKIN' SLEEP. We were up till frickin' 4:20, doing eachother's brains in, so I THINK we oughta be spending the next... oh, twelve hours or so, in the trusty spooning position... don't you?
Krys: Well... dammit, alright. It's just that... we've finally come back together... after ALL these years... and we're finally starting to connect again, and I just... I...
MB: *LOUD snoring*
Krys: ... Aw, f*ck it. Atleast we're together... goodnight, sweet prince. [Krys leans her head over the now drooling mouth of her beloved...]
[Krystal sets the PMSi down upon the counter, and is just about to settle into slumber... when a ringing comes at THE Mac's cell phone...]
[... which... I really don't see how I could have, seeing as he was sucked into this world from reality, and... well... oh, I dunno, let's just pretend, shall we?]
[Krys picks up the phone, and answers.]
Krys: Y'ello? ... Ohhh, it's YOU! Yeppers, Macky-Wacky told me that he'd been planning on something with you... He said, as soon as he realized his destiny as the Savior of the e-Sports Entertainment Dimension, he KNEW you'd be the right person to help start up a little group... something he said would help in his liberation of Heartland Championship Wrestling. ... I mean, I really have ZERO idea as to what the hell he was on about, but he told me you'd totally understand it, and that it's not my job to think, and that as long as I kept looking cute and giving him crazy good head, I'd get to keep worshipping the ground he walks on. Sounds like a DAMN good deal to me, don'tcha think? ... You're tired of talking to me and want him on the phone? Well you bet'cha! Hold on just ONE second, k?
[Krystal then proceeds to gently place the cell on the counter...]
[... before leaping up, and hopping up and down ontop of the (previously) resting THE Mac Bry.]
Krys: WAKE UP! WAKE UUUUPPPP!!! You've gotta phoney call, baby! It's YOU-KNOW-WHOOOOO!!!
MB: ACK! GOD-FRIGGIN'-DAMMIT! Krystal, I'll answer the phone, just... will you STOP DOING THE DAMN MACARANE ON TOP OF ME!
Krys: Whoopsie... sorry.
[She stops.]
MB: Ugh...
[THE Mac Bry grabs the cell, and picks up the conversation where Krys left off...]
MB: Hello... ... WASSSSUUUUPPPP!!! ... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! ... Hahaha, yep, that NEVER gets old! Well... ok, it does, but it's a cheap way to pad out material. Sooo, how's things? ... Oh? You don't say... You don't SAY! ... YOU DON'T SAY!!! ... You... you don't say?
Krys: What's he saying?
MB: He's not.
Krys: Not what?
MB: Not saying.
Krys: Not saying what?
MB: ... [back to the phone] So, are you ready for next week? ... Groovalicous. Hey, by the way. You wouldn't happen to have gotten those things I sent you... Ooooo, you are going to look SOOO sexy in them, Believe me!
Krys: HEY! Is that another girl?!
MB: Oh no, Krys. It's a guy.
Krys: Oh... ok then. That's kewl.
MB: [back to the phone] Sooo... you want to have a three-way? ... Nooo, not with HIM, you boobie! Heehee. Although... no. I mean with Krystal! [to Krys] You'd be kewl with that, right Krys?
Krys: Of course! As long as you live up to your promise to let me bring over one of my sorority friends sometime next week. Rebecca... she is SOOO gorgeous. And prettiful.
MB: Sure thing... [back to the phone] So, babe, you come on over sometime in the evening, and we'll get this party started! And then, at Chaos Bleeds #2, we'll show those BITCHES what a REAL man can do! ... And by "real", I mean an actual, living, breathing person, who isn't fake, like the rest of these stupid, poo poo, doodie brain, cheese nosed dummy heads! ... Oh, of COURSE I'm not talking about you, I know you're a part of this crazy, mixed-up fantasy world as well, it's just... Yes, I know that I'm technically[/b] a part of it as well, as long as I'm here, but... Ok, ok, I'll stop making fun of all th stupid, poo poo, doodie brain, cheese nosed, dummy head fake people. Sorry, sweetie... Later, baby.
[Mac turns off the phone, reaches across Krystal and rests it on the counter. Mac stares lovingly into Krystal's eyes...]
[... before falling asleep almost instantaneously, returning to his mighty snoring.]
[Krystal smiles sheepishly, stroking her fingers through his hai...]
Krys: Goodnight, honey. Or... well... good MORNING. ... Sweet dreams.
[Krystal kisses Mac on his forehead, before nuzzling her head softly into his chest... and following Mac into the land of nod...]
*static*
[Scene: Mac Bry Manor ... Nowhere , Oklahoma
Tuesday, September 08th, 2009 ... 9:11 pm]
[THE Mac Bry stands outside of his shabby shack.]
[The very same shack that he ACTUALLY lives in, ACTUAL, REAL life.]
MB: Wait a minute... Why in the HELL is my ACTUAL house... from my ACTUAL, REAL life here in this world of fantastical fantasy?
Krys: Because.
MB: ... Narrator?
[As you may recall, you once used your actual dwelling, here in Nowhere, as a backdrop. I believe it was in the parody fed, Brawlers on a Budget, where you roleplayed as Axl.]
MB: Hm...
[And so, Krystal, myself, and your "mystery partner", decided that it would be the PERFECT spot for you to call home in this new Universe. ]
MB: Uhm... can't I, you know, live somewhere that doesn't... uh... suck?
[No.]
MB: ... K.
[Anyhow, over the past week or so, I've been hooking you up with tapes of Draka's two roleplays, as well as Vlad's two roleplays. Any chance we could get you to respond?]
MB: Well... I guess.
[Mac looks into the camera... with Krystal right next to him, Mac's arm over her shoulder.]
MB: HCW!
Krys: HIYA!!! Hiya everybody out there in television land! HIIII!!!
MB: [glares to the side at Krys] AHEM.
Krys: [droops her head] Sorry...
MB: Annnyway... [turns his attention back to the camera] Vlad... let's get something straight. Stung... Kruzifix... raYne? They were all characters of mine. This? This is the REAL ME. As in, you're finally about to face an entity that is more than merely someone's imagination taken to a keyboard. I AM... 4 Realz. Biz-natch. I mean, sure, now that I'm stuck here, I'll have to become accustomed to the fact that I CAN... and probably WILL be hurt... several times over. All over... BUT, that's where 'Plan M' comes in.
MB: You see... Andy... I'm beginning a revolution here. And I will LEAD this revolution... as not only HCW's hero... but the SAVIOR of e-Sports Entertainment!!!~!1 And the revolution begins at C.B.2. And as someone from the past would say...
MB: Your ass is grass... and I'm gonna mow... you... DOWN!
[... John Deere?]
MB: Hey, yeah, you know him!
[Narrator over here, remember? But, uh... what's with the reference?]
MB: Oh, I was just trying to throw in a quick blurb that can be used for promotional packages and whatnot and television.
[Oh... You're a shill, ya know that?]
MB: I know. ;D
MB: Anyhell... Andy. Can I call you Andy? No? Ok... Andy, I'd just like to let you know... you break mah HART!!! Yooouuu... hollywood blonde jabronie! Praise Allah, Praise Muhamad!!! Camera man, ZOOM!
[Camera zooms.]
MB: TOO CLOSE!
[Camera un-zooms.]
MB: Vlad B. Blair! I take joo, I bend joo over like so, I put'choo in camel clutch, I break your back, I f*ck jer ASS... I MAKE JOO HUM-BALLLL!!! Praise Jabba, Praise Chewbacca!
MB: But seriously... you think championship gold is all that matters to me, Andy? Well... you're wrong. Honestly. This time, my journey is about SO much more than self-gain. I'm doing this for the sake of YOUR WORLD... And I'm doing this to help breast cancer research.
[... Huh?]
MB: Well, it seems like everything's for breast cancer research nowadays, so I just thought I'd hop on the bandwagon. BUT THAT'S IRREGARDLESS!!! Vlad... or should I say, Andy-Roo...
you're dead... either that or you're alive. i'm almost CERTAIN it's one or the other.
MB: And as for Mr. Tall, Dark, and...uh... Tall. DRAKA! As someone from the past would say ; your ass is grass... and I'm goonna mow you DOWN!!!
[You already SAID that!]
MB: ... Oh yeah. Uhm... Well, Wacky Dracky, you want to talk about "dumb"? DUMB is someone that wastes all of his time telling jokes that either nobody gets but himself, or that are SO lame that even he himself wishes he DIDN'T get them!!! HAHA, how about THEM slapnuts, bees-notch?! I just PWNED your azz!!!
[... Mac?]
MB: Yes?
[You didn't describe Draka just now... you were pretty much talking about yourself.]
MB: ... Oh. Well... Draka! Uh... You're...
[...]
MB: You're... YOU'RE DUMB!!! Ya big ol' stupid, poo poo, doodie brain, cheese nosed, dummy head!!! So... go back to where all the other stupid, dummy heads go!
[The White House?]
MB: No! I don't know where, but it set up that lame pun pretty nicely, wouldn't you say?
[Yip.]
MB: Anyhoosiers, Wacky Dracky, I want you to think about something.
MB: But that's impossible, because you're INCAPABLE of thinking!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!~!!~!~1
[
]
MB: Oh come on, you KNOW I'm funny! And to prove it, at Chaos Bleeds 2, I'm going to WIN!!!
[Ha! Now THAT'S funny!]
MB: Woo woo woo, you KNOW IT! Now, END TRANSMISSION!!!
[Mac takes Krystal by the hand, and the two head off... preparing for the big night ahead of them.]
- mwo rising -
Monday, August 23rd, 2009 ... 11:11 pm]
[After being sucked into a realm where fantasy meets reality...]
[After learning of his quest to become the Savior of HCW...]
[After realizing he can't back out, cuz dude, he's trapped in a freakin' e-fed world...]
[THE Mac Bry made his way toward the local "Sleazy-E Motel" on the night of the 22nd...]
[... and then, on the 23rd, he made his HCW "debut"... or rather, began the inVasion.]
[And unbeknownst to the rest of the roster... the non-getting-sucked-into-an-alternate-dimension portion of the roster... Mac Bry knew exactly who his first target would be... the first sacrifice in his mission to bring HCW to the pinnacle of excellence. The man who would have to take one for the team... XAW Hall of Famer and MCW Icon, Vlad... played by Andrew Giovanni in actuality.]
[Mac had always loved to trade roleplays with Andrew back in his XAW days... Mac's character Reeve / raYne became embroiled in an intense rivalry with Andrew's Vlad.]
[But in THIS world... the Dhampir was much more than a fictional personality that told a story... In THIS world? The Dhampir's bites were all too real... and Mac knew he'd have to be aware of this.]
[Still, there's something about the Blood God, that's just the slightest bit... alluring. When taking on a character, Mac Bry would always insert a piece of himself into the formula... but he would always exaggerate his various personal charecteristics. Thusly, his own bi-curiousity is now seemingly peaked even moreso within this realm. As is the time-bomb like anger brought on by his bi-polar affliction... The combination of lust and hate, boiling together, will now provide for an explosive catalyst...]
[The time drew closer and closer to the very first HCW "Chaos Bleeds" main event in history... with the vacant Hardcore title held on the line in a battle royal. With six of seven spots already determined by qualification contests, Vlad met Mathew Johnson in the semi-main event, and came up with a victory... securing a spot alongside Draka, Heather Storm, Scarface, Griffin, Galahad, and Ava.]
[Barely managing to catch a breath following his qualifier, Vlad found himself confronted with six other hungry competitors... all aiming for the Hardcore gold. He shook off the cobwebs, and tried to regain his verticle base... Ava sent him flying into the ropes... and... ]
[Out of absotively, posolutely NOWHERE, THE Mac Bry sprinted toward the ring, pulled down the top rope... and just as soon as he'd won the right to compete in the battle royal, Vlad was sent hurtling out of it.]
[With Vlad unceremoniously ripped from the title match, the Blood God was now MORE than aware that "THE Mac" had arrived... and so was the rest of the HCW lockerroom. Mac looked familiar... he sounded familiar... heck, he even SMELLED familiar... but they just couldn't place him.]
[Well, that is until he got on a bullhorn outside the arena after the show, and while everyone was leaving, he continuouslly shouted "HERE I AM! ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE! OH, AND BY THE WAY, I'M MAC BRY! IN THE REAL WORLD, I ROLEPLAY AS THE CHARACTERS STUNG, KRUZIFIX, RAYNE, REEVE GORDON, AND MANY, MANY OTHERS! I'VE PROBABLY BEATEN THE HANDLERS ALL OF YOU SORRY SACKS AH SASSAFRASH AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER! ... YALL SUCK! OH, AND VOTE FOR ME AS CLASS SAVIOR, 2009!!! ... BOOMER SOONER!!!" . Yup... pretty hard to miss that... Especially considering the fact that he repeated it ALL, eleventy hundred and a half times... But I digest.]
[So, having successfully annoyed the piss out of everyone, Mac did all there was left to do.]
[Grab a hooker and head back to the motel.
][We find THE Mac, along with a... well, a hooker, heading toward the door of Mac's motel room. At the front of the door, Mac drops the hooker onto the ground.]
MB: Dammit, I had enough ah carrying your stupid ass! It's not like we're getting married or anything, ya ho! We go in here, you jerk me off for about five seconds, I blow my power load, and then I pay you a thousand dollars. You know, the way it SHOULD be!
Krystal Dawn: But Reevie! Don't you remember me?! We were the Power Couple back in XCWA!!!
MB: Diamanta?
Krys: ... No. Dammit, Reevie-kins, it's ME!
MB: The Fat Guy? Big Daddy Drool? Come on, I don't have all night, I'd like to get in there, get to jerkin' it, and get to work on my first LIVE promo! Man... this is sooo TOTALLY going to be awesome cutting an rp with my mouth instead of my fingers!
Krys: Oooo, I remember how good you were with those fingers... teehee.
MB: ... Crystal?
Krys: Nooo, silly! Krystal!
MB: ... Huh?
Krys: Heehee, you're funny! Wanna watch me f*ck a college girl?!
MB: ... Uh...
Krys: I know JUST the college! Their sorority has all the finest beaver!
MB: ...
Krys: What? Their mascot is a beaver! You silly goose.
MB: Marry me.
Krys: Ohhh, we haven't even gone out in three years! We've got to get back in the swing of things. And trust me... I "swing" with the best of them, if you know what I mean. ;D
MB: Hummina, hummina, hummina, WHOO BOY! Get in this motel, Krystal! We've got some... er, "catching up" to do. [looks at the camera] You know, Narrator...
[What's that, Mac?]
MB: The e-fed version of my Crystal... she's just a BIT easier on the eyes than the real deal... But, hey, if it weren't for the real thing, I'd never have the inspiration for this... This... uh... heh...
[The camera slowly pans downward, where we find the back of Krystal's head in front of Mac's lower region... we hear some slurping noises... and good GRAVY, CUT AWAY!!!]
*static*
[Tuesday, August 24th, 2009 ... 09:11 am]
[The camera re-opens... this time, to the morning after.]
[Mac is out cold, snoring next to Krystal Dawn, who is tapping away at a Nerdtindo PMSi. All of the suddenly, Krys' eyes widen, and she begins to shake Mac...]
Krys: REEVE! REEEEEVE!!! ... Oh, wait... what was that name he told me to call him... Black Guy... Shack Fly... er... uhm... oh yeah! MAC BRYYYYYYY!!!
[Mac awakes with a start, and looks over at Krystal with a bewildered expression.]
MB: The HELL is your problem?
Krys: I did it!!!
MB: ... Did WHAT?
Krys: I just finished the first level on "Knitting Mama : Knit One, Pearl Two". I'm telling you, it may have gotten hella boring after a while, but I braved through it, and I WON!
MB: ... The first level.
Krys: Yeah!
MB: Of some crappy KNITTING GAME?!
Krys: Well... for a knitting game, I'd say it's not TOO shabby... but, uh...
MB: Krystal. Please. LET ME GET SOME FRICKIN' SLEEP. We were up till frickin' 4:20, doing eachother's brains in, so I THINK we oughta be spending the next... oh, twelve hours or so, in the trusty spooning position... don't you?
Krys: Well... dammit, alright. It's just that... we've finally come back together... after ALL these years... and we're finally starting to connect again, and I just... I...
MB: *LOUD snoring*
Krys: ... Aw, f*ck it. Atleast we're together... goodnight, sweet prince. [Krys leans her head over the now drooling mouth of her beloved...]
[Krystal sets the PMSi down upon the counter, and is just about to settle into slumber... when a ringing comes at THE Mac's cell phone...]
[... which... I really don't see how I could have, seeing as he was sucked into this world from reality, and... well... oh, I dunno, let's just pretend, shall we?]
[Krys picks up the phone, and answers.]
Krys: Y'ello? ... Ohhh, it's YOU! Yeppers, Macky-Wacky told me that he'd been planning on something with you... He said, as soon as he realized his destiny as the Savior of the e-Sports Entertainment Dimension, he KNEW you'd be the right person to help start up a little group... something he said would help in his liberation of Heartland Championship Wrestling. ... I mean, I really have ZERO idea as to what the hell he was on about, but he told me you'd totally understand it, and that it's not my job to think, and that as long as I kept looking cute and giving him crazy good head, I'd get to keep worshipping the ground he walks on. Sounds like a DAMN good deal to me, don'tcha think? ... You're tired of talking to me and want him on the phone? Well you bet'cha! Hold on just ONE second, k?
[Krystal then proceeds to gently place the cell on the counter...]
[... before leaping up, and hopping up and down ontop of the (previously) resting THE Mac Bry.]
Krys: WAKE UP! WAKE UUUUPPPP!!! You've gotta phoney call, baby! It's YOU-KNOW-WHOOOOO!!!
MB: ACK! GOD-FRIGGIN'-DAMMIT! Krystal, I'll answer the phone, just... will you STOP DOING THE DAMN MACARANE ON TOP OF ME!
Krys: Whoopsie... sorry.
[She stops.]
MB: Ugh...
[THE Mac Bry grabs the cell, and picks up the conversation where Krys left off...]
MB: Hello... ... WASSSSUUUUPPPP!!! ... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! ... Hahaha, yep, that NEVER gets old! Well... ok, it does, but it's a cheap way to pad out material. Sooo, how's things? ... Oh? You don't say... You don't SAY! ... YOU DON'T SAY!!! ... You... you don't say?
Krys: What's he saying?
MB: He's not.
Krys: Not what?
MB: Not saying.
Krys: Not saying what?
MB: ... [back to the phone] So, are you ready for next week? ... Groovalicous. Hey, by the way. You wouldn't happen to have gotten those things I sent you... Ooooo, you are going to look SOOO sexy in them, Believe me!
Krys: HEY! Is that another girl?!
MB: Oh no, Krys. It's a guy.
Krys: Oh... ok then. That's kewl.
MB: [back to the phone] Sooo... you want to have a three-way? ... Nooo, not with HIM, you boobie! Heehee. Although... no. I mean with Krystal! [to Krys] You'd be kewl with that, right Krys?
Krys: Of course! As long as you live up to your promise to let me bring over one of my sorority friends sometime next week. Rebecca... she is SOOO gorgeous. And prettiful.
MB: Sure thing... [back to the phone] So, babe, you come on over sometime in the evening, and we'll get this party started! And then, at Chaos Bleeds #2, we'll show those BITCHES what a REAL man can do! ... And by "real", I mean an actual, living, breathing person, who isn't fake, like the rest of these stupid, poo poo, doodie brain, cheese nosed dummy heads! ... Oh, of COURSE I'm not talking about you, I know you're a part of this crazy, mixed-up fantasy world as well, it's just... Yes, I know that I'm technically[/b] a part of it as well, as long as I'm here, but... Ok, ok, I'll stop making fun of all th stupid, poo poo, doodie brain, cheese nosed, dummy head fake people. Sorry, sweetie... Later, baby.
[Mac turns off the phone, reaches across Krystal and rests it on the counter. Mac stares lovingly into Krystal's eyes...]
[... before falling asleep almost instantaneously, returning to his mighty snoring.]
[Krystal smiles sheepishly, stroking her fingers through his hai...]
Krys: Goodnight, honey. Or... well... good MORNING. ... Sweet dreams.
[Krystal kisses Mac on his forehead, before nuzzling her head softly into his chest... and following Mac into the land of nod...]
*static*
[Scene: Mac Bry Manor ... Nowhere , Oklahoma
Tuesday, September 08th, 2009 ... 9:11 pm]
[THE Mac Bry stands outside of his shabby shack.]
[The very same shack that he ACTUALLY lives in, ACTUAL, REAL life.]
MB: Wait a minute... Why in the HELL is my ACTUAL house... from my ACTUAL, REAL life here in this world of fantastical fantasy?
Krys: Because.
MB: ... Narrator?
[As you may recall, you once used your actual dwelling, here in Nowhere, as a backdrop. I believe it was in the parody fed, Brawlers on a Budget, where you roleplayed as Axl.]
MB: Hm...
[And so, Krystal, myself, and your "mystery partner", decided that it would be the PERFECT spot for you to call home in this new Universe.
]MB: Uhm... can't I, you know, live somewhere that doesn't... uh... suck?
[No.]
MB: ... K.
[Anyhow, over the past week or so, I've been hooking you up with tapes of Draka's two roleplays, as well as Vlad's two roleplays. Any chance we could get you to respond?]
MB: Well... I guess.
[Mac looks into the camera... with Krystal right next to him, Mac's arm over her shoulder.]
MB: HCW!
Krys: HIYA!!! Hiya everybody out there in television land! HIIII!!!
MB: [glares to the side at Krys] AHEM.
Krys: [droops her head] Sorry...
MB: Annnyway... [turns his attention back to the camera] Vlad... let's get something straight. Stung... Kruzifix... raYne? They were all characters of mine. This? This is the REAL ME. As in, you're finally about to face an entity that is more than merely someone's imagination taken to a keyboard. I AM... 4 Realz. Biz-natch. I mean, sure, now that I'm stuck here, I'll have to become accustomed to the fact that I CAN... and probably WILL be hurt... several times over. All over... BUT, that's where 'Plan M' comes in.
MB: You see... Andy... I'm beginning a revolution here. And I will LEAD this revolution... as not only HCW's hero... but the SAVIOR of e-Sports Entertainment!!!~!1 And the revolution begins at C.B.2. And as someone from the past would say...
MB: Your ass is grass... and I'm gonna mow... you... DOWN!
[... John Deere?]
MB: Hey, yeah, you know him!
[Narrator over here, remember? But, uh... what's with the reference?]
MB: Oh, I was just trying to throw in a quick blurb that can be used for promotional packages and whatnot and television.
[Oh... You're a shill, ya know that?]
MB: I know. ;D
MB: Anyhell... Andy. Can I call you Andy? No? Ok... Andy, I'd just like to let you know... you break mah HART!!! Yooouuu... hollywood blonde jabronie! Praise Allah, Praise Muhamad!!! Camera man, ZOOM!
[Camera zooms.]
MB: TOO CLOSE!
[Camera un-zooms.]
MB: Vlad B. Blair! I take joo, I bend joo over like so, I put'choo in camel clutch, I break your back, I f*ck jer ASS... I MAKE JOO HUM-BALLLL!!! Praise Jabba, Praise Chewbacca!
MB: But seriously... you think championship gold is all that matters to me, Andy? Well... you're wrong. Honestly. This time, my journey is about SO much more than self-gain. I'm doing this for the sake of YOUR WORLD... And I'm doing this to help breast cancer research.
[... Huh?]
MB: Well, it seems like everything's for breast cancer research nowadays, so I just thought I'd hop on the bandwagon. BUT THAT'S IRREGARDLESS!!! Vlad... or should I say, Andy-Roo...
you're dead... either that or you're alive. i'm almost CERTAIN it's one or the other.
MB: And as for Mr. Tall, Dark, and...uh... Tall. DRAKA! As someone from the past would say ; your ass is grass... and I'm goonna mow you DOWN!!!
[You already SAID that!]
MB: ... Oh yeah. Uhm... Well, Wacky Dracky, you want to talk about "dumb"? DUMB is someone that wastes all of his time telling jokes that either nobody gets but himself, or that are SO lame that even he himself wishes he DIDN'T get them!!! HAHA, how about THEM slapnuts, bees-notch?! I just PWNED your azz!!!
[... Mac?]
MB: Yes?
[You didn't describe Draka just now... you were pretty much talking about yourself.]
MB: ... Oh. Well... Draka! Uh... You're...
[...]
MB: You're... YOU'RE DUMB!!! Ya big ol' stupid, poo poo, doodie brain, cheese nosed, dummy head!!! So... go back to where all the other stupid, dummy heads go!
[The White House?]
MB: No! I don't know where, but it set up that lame pun pretty nicely, wouldn't you say?
[Yip.]
MB: Anyhoosiers, Wacky Dracky, I want you to think about something.
MB: But that's impossible, because you're INCAPABLE of thinking!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!~!!~!~1
[
]MB: Oh come on, you KNOW I'm funny! And to prove it, at Chaos Bleeds 2, I'm going to WIN!!!
[Ha! Now THAT'S funny!]
MB: Woo woo woo, you KNOW IT! Now, END TRANSMISSION!!!
[Mac takes Krystal by the hand, and the two head off... preparing for the big night ahead of them.]
- mwo rising -